Flames.... yes in this blog things will be kept very simple. All i'll do is let the flames of my emotions run free so that i am saved from being scorched by them....
जब तुम्हें कहा था राही तब तो तुमने एक लव्स न सुना
तो फिर आज क्यों खरहे खरहे आंसू बहा रहे हो
चेतावनी सुनकर अनसुनी कर दी
तो फिर आज क्यों विदाम्बनायों के पुल बाँध रहे हो?
काँटा कहा था तुम्हीं ने इसे
फिर क्यों स्वयं ही ग्रहण किया?
जान लिए थे इसकी नियत
तोह फिर क्यों उसे शरण दिया
कर चुके हो जब स्वयं तुम ऐसा
हाँ कभी किसी और के साथ
तो फिर किसी और के करने पर क्यों गम है राही
ज़रा सोचो क्या बीती होगी उस पर उस क्षण
शायद यही तुम्हारी सजा है "प्यारे"
शायद यही तुम्हारा प्रायश्चित भी
होगा वही जो तुमने किया कभी
कुछ याद आई वोह कर्वी वाणी?
हाँ पर उम्मीद तोह बनाये रखूँगा
स्वयं की रह पर ही चलूँगा
आखिर मैंने ही तो फिर यह भी कहा था
आज को जी लो, कल को किसने देखा है
A self introspection done with the help of some my close friends. Straight from the heart again. Signing off with hope which is largely my own creation . I just hope it works out!
khamoshi ke in lamhon ka kya karunga mein? tanhayee ke is alam se kaise sahunga mein? kaise mitayoonga apne kaanon men parhne waali is sannate ki aahat ko batao priyatam tum bin kaise rahunga mein
man se sochte samjhte hain yeh jaanta hun mein par kya gila is dil ki jo yeh hamesha rota hai hasne ki chah ho toh bhi isey hamesha has ke firse rona hi parhta hai
kyon yeh duniya nahin samajhti ki pyaar kya cheez hai kyon yeh khuda nahin samjhta ki aashiquon ki doorie kya cheez hai kyon yeh jahaan nahin chahta ki milan ki gharhi kabhi naa aaye kyon, akhir kyon swayam bhagya nahin chahta ki ham pass naa ayein
aur agar bhagya maan bhi gya toh fir is man ka kya karunga main yeh toh bechara asliyat ki waqfiyata ka shikaar hai kuch sapna dekh nahin pata koi bhav samjh nahin pata dil kuch kehta hai toh jawaab de deta hai, nahin yeh impractical cheez hai
Sometimes i wonder if too much of sense and thinking is a bane given to us as punishments of crimes unknown.
Well since I am absolutely vella, I thought of writing something for my bloggae(no that’s not what I call it but just an arbit thing which came into my mind(see I am so vella?(in fact vella enough to goon putting bracket after bracket(Stop it!))))(Ok so check if they are all closed!). And what better thing to write about than my vellaness-The inspiration behind this post!
So these days even though college is of I am still residing in my dear WD-17 at Shivalik reason being I am doing an intern here in Noida with a Multinational VLSI Design Company(See me boasting!:) )(P.S. Does anyone know how to put a smiley in brackets? Somehow I am never able to do that comfortably) Virage Logic International. (Ya now go back there and read where I left off and started the bracket!)Okkk Intern ... you must be thinking that how can I be free when I am interning. Aaah! That friends is the thing. I had heard it from every one of my seniors.."Koi intern pe kucch nai (mazdoor style!)seekhta". But I didn’t believe it till today I am sitting in my office and writing this post!!!I mean I literally do NOTHING here. Take a look at my average day schedule"
9AM: Reach Office. Switch on PC. Open Gmail, FB... check for new mail or notifications. 9:15: Go to Cafeteria(Yes the company has its own and what's more, catering is by Yellow Chilies that guy Sanjeev Gupta's company) for breakfast 9:45: Open a couple of design files. Play around a bit. Get bored. Doze off. 10:30: Wake up. Have a drink of water. Faced with nothing better to do, so open up BlogSpot. Start reading random posts by random people. 12:00: Realize with a shock what you are here for as Boss walks in. Says it’s nice you blog also. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell him that as far as his office is concerned, I JUST blog! 12: 15: After a discussion with boss get back to blogs. 1:00: Say hi to my gf who logs in around this time. 1: 15: Head off for lunch 1;45: Chat with gf 4:00: Gf logs off and reprimands me for not working. Threatens with dire consequences if I don’t do something constructive. Gives moral lecture. I enjoy every bit of her!( I love you qti!) 4:15: Try to work. Give up 4:45: Log onto to Google news and read the day's happenings 5:20: Pack up my bag and leave
See how vella I am??? Gosh. The only thing I can think of right now is going back to hostel and playing counterstrike with the guys! Hmm... ya I think its best to end this here. I don’t want to be killing with boredom those few holy souls who read my blog! Take care guys. Maybe next time I’ll come up with a better post!!!
(P.S. ya the real reason for logging off is that its time for lunch!!!)
All dressed n red and black you stood Beckoning many a hungry IITian Maggi and muffin and croissants were all you offered Yet you took our hearts away
It was you we came to for our nightly sojourns Twas you who helped us survive the long nightouts You it was who we came to cry to over our grades And you we came for treats for birthdays
You habroured many a lonely couple And many a drunk group of hooligans NOt to mention the frequent sutteris All of whom made you their ultimate destination
And you it was who stood neutral Through all the headcounts and alliances of Poltu And you it was that who we came to for that elusive bill for rebate
But now you are gone, gone and dead Tis but ruin that stands No more are the voices heard from the windows No more the all night stands
And it seems with you my life has gone Seems IIT's not worth it anymore almost as if we've lost the degree that we were to take and go
What use a bday without the ice tea? What use the RCA event without the customary treat? What use the minors without ur coffee What use Oh what use this IIT?
NESCI: YOU WILL STAY WITH US IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER
Jaag uthe armaan aaj hain, fir kuch karne ki chah mein Chhoot gaye peeche parhav hain, paa liye jo kal the Parv aaj seedha kharha hai, lakshya dikhaye chunauti de Na rukna hai, na thamna hai jayenge ab karm bhumi mein
Rah yeh saral na hogi, jaan yeh ham satark hain Manzil kathintam kathin hogi, jaan yeh ham adag hain Paa liya tha paharh toh fir parv yeh kya cheez hai Jeet liya duniya ko toh fir bandhu
Larhki yeh kya cheez hai!
Soch yeh main chal parha, rah ki us pagdandi par Soch yeh main ghus gaya, ishq ki us ran bhoomi mein soch yeh main chaturai se, laga baandhne dhaage anek Pra socho kya mera haal hua, jab thukraye usney mere prastav anek!
Bhatak rha tha jeevan ki in sunsaan rahon mein gum Dhund rha tha moh maya ke is junglemein ummeed ki ek dhun Chah rha tha jeevan ki raahon mein ek sathi main
Ek aaftab aisa jo mujhe bhi roshni de
Bhatakte huey is jaanwar ne paaya ek komal hath ka sparsh Dhundhti hui in nazron ne dekha ek naya raasta, chaha kuch naya kar Chah ki nadiyon ne paaya junoon-e-mohabbat ke baandh ka aasra
Ek aaftab aisa jo mujhe bhi roshni de
Aur bhatak kho gayi, aur rah mil gayi Aur moh bhi jeet liya, aur maya ko adhin kar liya Aur pyaar kar liya, kisi pe main mar mit gya
Ban chala fir man swayam
Ek aaftab aisa jisney kisi aur ko roshni di
Ok Now completely random poem... No head tail, just a thought that our salvation lies in the salvation of others...
Have you ever wondered how it feels? To have your work all undone To toil and labour all night and day Yet the fruits being bitter?
Have you ever tried to laugh On the grave of your sweat Or tried to say I do not care At the death of your beloved
Aah then you’ve not lived lad Naught have you seen ,naught have you felt Cut off that rod of masculine strength You are just another lass
For men they are who can laugh off The murder of their perspiring hands And men they are who care not For their bloody parched flanks
I AM A MAN
I have been through this all Worked and persevered Till the end of it all
YES THE VERY END.
The end of effort The end of prize The end of everything The end of life.
Without a thought to hell.
I've often said there's nothing such as Deserveability. But now I'd like to put the question... Is there not even something such as decency limit of crap?
P.S. Being sexist was not my aim... I'd like you to take the word MAN as the stereotypical image of someone(male or female) who is someone strong by character...
I am sorry my friend for doing this to you leaving u like this with nothing to do i know no one visits u any more infact with u dormant, u exist they dont know
But sweetheart what do i do its gone for a six, try as hard as i do like a bird for migration, its gone to hell my stupid imagination
haan par promise i'll bring it back pinky(:)) promise i do that i will write something soon my poor blog i hope forgive me u do.
I remember when I came to IIT I was full of expectations. I had heard so much about this fabled place and ,more importantly, worked so hard to get here. If stories were to be believed this place turned people into geniuses, taught an education unknown to anyone else, created engineers fit enough to change the whole universe...
Today, it’s been almost an year. I have lived my faccha days and am ready to move on to a respected second year ‘Sir’. And boy has it been a journey of revealations... I have learnt a lot in this one year... Oh no... Not engineering. But lots of other things. For instance, 101 ways to commit fraud, lying out of your hat and proving it to be true, cheating on exams... the list is endless.
Yes, truly IITians are exceptional people with exceptional intellect. But what happens to them here? They are introduced to a world where slowly they metamorphose into students fit enough to go to any regional college and blend in with the crowd there. In all our exams there is no application of the brain. Bas paper ke ek din pehle tut laga ke chale jaao. Number aa jayenge. Nahin aaye? Koi baat nahin paper milne ke baad likh likh ke number le lo. Fir bhi nahin aaye? Toh fir Chill Maar naa Launde!!! (Application of mind toh agar hai toh hai sirf aur sirf Poltu mein...And about that I shall not speak.)
Am I lying? Am I venting my own frustration cause I am a ‘maggu’?
No.
Look within yourselves...How many times have we asked or rather begged our peers for proxies? How many times have we gone for hostel extra currics and compromised on our Acads.? How many times have we fooled the TAs by doctored readings and graphs. How many times have we forced the poor professor to make an easy paper just to make us pass. How many times have we frowned on the handful of ‘maggus’ who take it upon themselves to fulfil the responsibilities of us all?
Innumerable my friend, innumerable. And when we could have avoided all this... when we could have avoided losing our own self respect just by studying that hour a day which while preparing for JEE was tuppence to us. Think my friends. Introspect. Are we doing the right thing? Realise yours, mine, our true potential.
Yes we turn into geniuses... Geniuses capable of fooling anyone in the world. Yes we are taught an education unknown to anyone else... one which educates us on the fallacy of moral behaviour and the encouragement of ruthless achievement. Yes we become engineers fit enough to change the universe... but not through science but through unscrupulously illicit acts.
You might close this window in disgust. You might form an opinion that this blog sux majorly. You may comment on the author ki yeh saala hi aisa hoga. You might even curse the webmaster who din intervene to block this article. All this you’d do if you were not an IITian.
But if you are an IITian... you’d be hanging your head in shame...
I couldn’t understand what was going on. I was hungry, thirsty and more importantly feeling immense pain around the center of my stomach. Moreover I was dirty... covered in some fluids. And to top it all my ears were being bombarded with crass cacophonous screeches. What else could I do but protest. And unaware of any sensible means of communication I started crying.
The lady covered in white who had so far been carrying me took her hand towards my nether regions and nearly dropped me... Hey what the hell do you think you are doing... was what I wanted to say. What came out instead(from some unknown lady’s mouth) was, “Oh my God. Are you sure its a girl!”. Girl... of course I am a girl... what did u think? A boy without a penis? Idiots. Suddenly the whole room became quiet. Thank God thought I. Finally some peace. And I stopped my hopelessly inverbose wailing. “So what do we do now?” a heavy male voice said. I liked the voice. Somehow it seemed comforting. I would love to hear that voice say to me, “I love you”. I wondered if it was my dad. I tried to look up kicking the poor nurse in her breasts as I did so. He was a tall, muscular man with a shock of jet black hair. Standing next to him was an old lady with an expression on her face which spoke of immense grief... Hey be happy. You’ve become grandma... I wanted to say.
This time what came out was a fluid from between my legs... Shit. The strain of looking up had been too much.
I settled down again as the nurse hurried to clean me(and herself!) up. But not before I heard my newly found granny’s mouth open and say, “Salt will do it cleanly”.
Salt? Maybe she had planned a grand feast for me but the cook had messed up. Aah... th cold water felt so nice. I had a nice feeling about this place.
“Ok.”
I heard my dad say. Nice daddy. Always willing to help. If he was this helpful to his mother, he’d prolly even help me with my HW eventually.
Suddenly I felt myself being snatched away from the nurse. My mouth was forcibly opened. And it was poured down my throat. Salt. I choked . Vomited. Felt convulsions inside my body. The last thing I heard was the shriek of the beautiful lady lying on the clean bed. And then I slept.
Just wrote this to kinda imagine what the baby must feel like when she is killed seconds after she is born. Don’t know where the inspiration for this came from. Was stdin for my Signals and Systems quiz when this erupted. Anyways... happy reading
“I still love you but not like that. Just as a friend” “You rejected us when you ran away with him you bitch. Go die if you wish. You have no place here”. Suddenly, the decision was made. A jump was all it took. And yet another love story came to its clichéd, tragic end.
Lol... I recently came to know about this concept of a 55 word story so tried my hand at it. Found it a really good experience... :)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Untitled... It was all so rosy till yesterday When I could live and laugh with ease When I could shower my love on you When happiness I could feel
Just yesterday when I took her out for a date Just yesterday when I solved her physics probs Just yesterday when we had that war of PJs Just yesterday when you said, “Stop that son”
Just yesterday when my heart used to skip beats In wait of your call Just yesterday when I responded with zeal To the questions of you all
Just yesterday when my heart was complete Just yesterday when I could sing with feel Just yesterday when I was sometimes free Just yesterday when my life was being lived
But today it’s all crass and monotonous Today no longer can I feel That same love that same affection Which once would lift me off my feet
And each and every one of you have said An I confess I too feel That there’s something not fully right There’s something missing... that feel
But somehow I can no longer turn My carriage onto my own turns Somehow it’s the force of the wind That’s driving my cart now
And as I cry and pen down this My heart cries to you all Oh friends and lover, oh mum and sis I still love you... and its you that I most miss.
Give me time to sort this out Give me the space to fall and rise So far my life’s been a mess that you always sorted Now let me do it at least one time
And then I promise I will return That lively, cheerful, loving one you knew And return shall our loving ties And normal life will resume
I don’t think if this can rightly be called a poem. Looks more like a self confession to me. And so it is too. But had I not got it out of me I would have broken down. You see Dumbledore’s pensive was nothing but a storehouse of emotions he wished to fully feel later. And so is my blog. And so like Dumbledore I too pick my feelings stran by strand and put them here... to dwell on them in full sometime soon. Happy reading!
When I was in class 10, my sis moved to college in Delhi. I thought that would be the end of the relationship we had shared in Chandigarh because of not just the distance but also the pressures in college. Initially for the first two or three months this seemed to be the case and I felt dejected that I had lost my sister to college. Later however, surprisingly our relationship just got better. She used to call up from Delhi just to talk to me, find out how I ma doing, telling anecdotes from her college, enquiring about my school ,studies etc. I used to love it. Mentally I made up my mind that when I go to college I’ll never lose contact with my family. Just like my sister has, I’ll always be in touch with her.
Today however the scenario seems to have shifted. The last time I went home, my sis was also there. Just in passing she made a comment, “Inse larhai toh tab hogi na jab baat hogi... Main toh baat hi nahin kar paati ab is se.”
This sentence had a deep impact on me. Its true that for the past two or three months I haven’t nbeen talking to my sis at all. Earlier we used to talk everyday and meet almost every week(We are both in Delhi). But now I just don’t find the time to call. And when she calls I reply in monosyllables which ensures that the convo drys up in 2 or 3 mins. She doesn’t say it but I feel it that she misses me and feels bad that I never talk to her. I feel so too but somehow am unable to correct it. Somehow I am so worked up in college life I have no time to sit down in peace and talk to my sister or anyone for that matter. My best friends(when they call) have to talk to the stressed out me, who just cannot make conversation. Eveyone has this same complaint from me that I never talk. And so I analyse,WHY?
I guess I have made myself too engrossed in my college(and hostel). Extra currics seem to be taking a lot of my time. In short I have made myself too busy. But, is it bad? I mean from my perspective, the more busy I am the less time I have to waste. But is just sitting down and ‘maaroing chill’ a time waste. Is it not in part necessary ? When faced with these questions I feel scared, terrified at what I am making myself into. Like the devil who is afraid to be idle??? Like the overworked horse who just breaks down and dies at the crucial time? Like the solitary typical neo-modern person who is completely immersed in the stupid rat race so deeply he can’t even come out???
My thoughts continue, my mind aches, my heart almost breaks... I hear an announcement... “Practice for...”. I shut down my laptop(and my mind) and go... And immerse myself again into that maze of things to do. Ignorance, after all, is bliss.
(The title is from two posts I read recently from my friends’ blogs. None of those posts were like this. Its just that those titles moved me to contemplate... and the result was this.)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
An Ode to Friendship... and acting Agony Aunt!!!
Whenever I look back and see The pain in my neck from turning is reduced Not by Crocin, not by moov But always by you
Its been you who has been there to catch Every bit of me that crumbles Its been you who’s been ready to comfort Every bit of me that’s sad
And though like a comedy of errors by Priyadarshan My life has skipped, kippered and bounced along Its been you who’s been ready to listen All the idiosyncracies in my life abound
The first time when I messed it up, The second time when I almost made it And the third the fourth and nth time Until now when I have to some extent succeeded Yeah its you who I have to thank
And though life’s taken us apart to diff cities Though today your phone no longer buzzes Trust me friend my heart still yearns For those incredible missed calls
Never will I forget those times Those memorable,loveable days When the heart was young, the mind innocent And mom’s phone hip hip hurray
Oh stay with me they will forever Those times we spent together And stay with will also forever Your caring words, your advice and parents’ terror
This poem is a heartfelt vote of thanks to all my friends(they know who they are!! ) who have suffered my incessant dose of relationship FAQs... here’s to you guys...hoping you’ll always be there for my kaands!!!
Ok. So this post is going to be completely random, arbit and vella.
I haven’t been posting for quite a while now, neither here nor on chaatukand. Thing is my life’s been going sme very major changes at this time(or so I think). No this pot is not gonna tell u about that but about the lessons I have learnt in the past few days.
How many times have you felt the same wrong that you inflicted on someone being inflicted on you? And how many times have you realised it immediately what’s gonna happen? And how many times have you actually not learnt not to do that again??? Confused...
I did something to someone for which I was scorned at and told what I did was wrong(by that person). That person had felt extremely hurt by what I had done. I knew it had been bad for him/her(figure this one out!!!) but felt it had been necessary.
Exactly in the same way someone wronged me. Someone who had the same reasoning for the wrong that I had given when I had done the same thing. And suddenly I felt Deja Vu.
I had tried to teach/tell something to someone through my actions. Yet now I realised that I myself hadn’t learnt what I was trying to propagate. When the same came upon me I responded in exactly the same fashion. And suffered the same way. All while knowing its prolly gonna end up like it actually did. And inspite of my best efforts to not respond in a certain way I did just that. And then suffered.
But then I learnt and corrected my response. This was the only thing different. I got a chance to rectify my response. And I did that.
Today, as I sit down and think I realise why certain things appear coincidental in life. Because life is meant to be a learning experience(what for don’t ask me!). You think you can cope with certain situations yet often you don’t know that you actually can’t. That’s when life interferes and makes you realise(often with a smack across your arse) that buddy this is what it feels like to have been there done that.
The 2 other persons concerned with this post probably don’t even know how much I have learnt through them. Coincidentally while one hates me, the other prolly considers me a pain in the ass. Yet I love them both. Moreso the latter who taught me so much. Hopefully I’ll be able to convince them both to like me at sometime in life. But I guess that’ll be another pair of coincidences!!!
My poetry's tryst with lectures continues. This one was conceived in my CSL101 class. Don't ask me from where i got the inspiration for this as even i am not sure. There was just one event which could have triggered such a train of thought i.e. i had met someone just before the class whose sister was getting married. Now we didnt talk about anything like that. Nor did i ever link my thoughts with him. but that's the only thing which probably enetered my subconscious and triggered these thoughts!
Moreover, i wish to extend the logic of this poem to all things in life. There are things and people in life we have to let go of some time in life. So its best to not become too dependednt on them. Plus make the best of the time they are with you instead of always dreading the time when they will be taken away :)
The other day I was strolling down my hostel coridoor after lunch when I caught sight of a large notice put up on the Notice board which said something about undergraduate research. Now I have always wanted to go towards the academic side so it held my attention and I read through it. It was something to do with SURA. I had heard something about this form my seniors and knew a little about it. But knowing through experience that seniorsay is not always true, I stopped to read through it. It explained in full detail the procedure to be followed but what struck me was the CGPA pre requirement which said that only students with CGPA >=7.5 can do a SURA. The first thing that came to my mind was that maybe each year the SURA office is flooded with countless applications for projects such that they have to make some provision to curtail the number of applicants! But its not as if IIT has a limited number of projects that they need to put cut offs. In fact professors are always more than welcome to accept new undergrad researchers. In such a scenario I fail to understand the need for a CGPA cut. The second reason for such a cut which came to my mind was doubt over the applicant’s capability. Maybe the management does not find <7.5 pointers fit enough for research. But I ask you- Is a person with CG below 7.5 not capable to do undergraduate research? Admitted he may not be brightest kid around the campus but has he not too cleared the JEE and come to IIT as a meritorious candidate? Has he not already proved that he is the cream of the cream in the country. Does any doubt remain about his capability, sincerity or dedication? Is the fact that he is unable to score marks relative mind you relative to other IITians relative to others who form a part of the same cream, enough to show he is not fit for research? And that too in a scenario where probably people less capable(by this logic) are eligible for similar programs in regional colleges? For definitely a 7 pter from IIT is better than a 9 pter from a regional college! And then we all know that good marks are neither necessary nor sufficient to prove capability. Getting marks involves several favourable factors like a good examination temperament among other things. And let us not forget that there are students who do exceptionally well in certain courses which interest them but not well in others. Then can you deny them the chance to research on their favourite topic just because they have a low overall CGPA? Moreover the SURA application requires the preparation of a project aim report, getting the consent of the professor and several other tedious steps. If a student is committed enough to complete the requirements and is able to convince the professor to accept him irrespective of his CGPA, can eyebrows be raised over his sincerity or capability? Clearly the existence of this rule serves no constructive purpose. On the other hand it is probably the reason for the death of many an inquisitive mind in IIT. In my opinion it’d be much better if it is done away with.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Relationship Management... The thing which is responsible for more than half he trouble in this world. It often happens that we are caught in a situation where we want two very important things yet are forced to choose between the two. This is an extremely frustrating time as it is but when this happens in the case of relationships its more than a human can take... I had been planning to go home last week(24-26jan). But hostel hockey matches forced me to stay back and postpone it to this week. Now again i find my way blocked... this time by the stage play. Or should i call it a fortunate detour??? I do not know. All the tickets had been booked. Packing done. And then at the last moment I was offered the lead in the hostel English Play. With the play scheduled for 7th Feb there was no way the lead could miss weekend practices. And so once again, I was forced to choose... This time it was exceptionally hard as it is my mom's bday today. If all had went well i'd prolly have been boarding the train home with her gift in an hour. But I(on advice of my senior and mentor, J and also the call of my heart(not to forget the contributions of Sabu and Gyaani)) chose to stay on... I dont know whether i made the right decision. As of now i feel so incomplete. So far away from my family. So cut off. J insists(and rightly so) that i cant be tied to my family all the time(He gives the cliched example of how cut off i'll be when i'll be working in Banglore and my parents in Chandigarh... which is true but still i dont want to believe it :( . He further went on to tell how dramatics will help in my overall development. But somehow i am... in a muddle:() but its so hard to sever the relationships you've kept for 18 years. So hard to give second priority to those who have made you their top priority all their lives. so hard to be indifferent to their feelings who had always given everything of theirs to ensure your happiness. It doesnt seem fair to them. As children we leave parents just when they need us the most. Like leeches we suck everything out of them while they educate us, feed us, keep us and mould us into perfect citizens. Then once crafted into masterpieces they'd like to sit back and enjoy we go out of the house never to return as full time residents again. Suddenly our hostels gain more importance than our homes. Suddenly our extra currics become our sole aim and the emotions of the ones left behind are forgotten. Suddenly... we grow up. I have always wanted to remain a child forever. And i thought i had succeeded... always laughing and smiling. But now i realize that you can fence yourself in the realm of childhood, but you can't fence out the invaders of adulthood...
I looked on her as a child on a device Unsure of what to expect For it hadn't been long since i had been bereft Of a treasure i had long kept
Exactly a month and a day before My life had been otrn apart For the winds of time and distance Had managed to wreck my craft
Pleaded had(been) I and begged also And asked also to think a while For we had spent so much love together And my heart was almost dry
No love to give, too hurt to take I never expected this joy Of finding someone of being fulfilled In such short a span
Yet when i looked on her, yet when she smiled on me I could do naught but wonder And gaze at the beauty, and gape at the serenity Of this angel on Earth
And moved was i to the scenes of joy That i had long imagined to live The cascading waterfall. the flowing meadows The beautiful sunset on a faraway beach
Her hair moved me to the softness of silk Which flows like the cloth of the Gods themselves Smooth to touch and sweet to look As i could do nothing but gape
Her eyes were like emeralds on an intricate cast With depths deeper than the trenches of the Pacific And feelings they held and emotions they kept Of beauty and of wonder and of star gazing
Her face an ornament of rare antique beauty Innocent and beautiful and cute and sweet Like Cleo and Joan and Mary and Liz All immersed in one
And a scent so sweet lasso it threw Enamoured me and I had no clue Of what to say of what to do And i just kept on gaping
And Keats i remembered,Wordsworth came to my mind And all the romantic laureates who had ever lived But none could have had the pleasure i wothstood Of seeing beauty so complete
A thing of beauty which surpasse all else A solitary lass who void a voice sang The song of a twinkling and bubbling brook As it washed the gloom of life
And just as she came she was gone And her purpose had me deceived Why did she come, why did i see If she was to leave
And then i understood the greatness of God The protector and preserver who all sees He had made her, he had sent her So that i could believe
Oh reader of distant thoughts This what he wanted to say Be not depressed, immersed in gloom For love is here to say
No longer was i a parched traveller No longer troubled by lovely hurts For he had shown that nspite of all I could feel love still
It had been a good time,we spent together And lived our life in love And though it had ended it had when it did Given me a reason to love
And now he had sent me an angel in disguise Who moved my hurt and inflicted a hurt too deep The pain was a sign of that beautiful truth That i had a reason to love still
I ne'er saw her since Ne'er again did she come and fill my life with bliss But that one gaze, that one smile gave me the reason to live.
Somehow i always end up titling(Is that a word???) my poem with its last line. I guess its because i always leave the crux till the end... Thats the case with me in life too. Somehow i always say the most important thing at the end... Like a mysterious surprise... Anyways... won't say much about this poem(Its too close to my heart!). But yes, there was someone who moved me to write this one. In fact the same who is probably most concerned with this poem... (Although the immediate sight was of someone else whoom i will not name for my personal and professional security in IIT. But probably those who have taken up EEL 203 will no of whom I speak!!!)And for the first time in a long time i was at a loss of words. Somehow it wasn't possible to express that beauty in words...Kisi zubaan mein woh lavz hi nahin jinmein tumhe bata sakoon ki kya ho tum.... :)
P.S. By the way keeping to my tradition this one too was conceived in a class. Electromechanics this time. :)
I wonder when i will be able to Sit down on the parapet and just stare outside At the wind in the leaves and the dew on the grass That outside make merry
I wonder when i will be able to go out and look at the moon and the stars above And stare at the sun full right in the eye And come out of this cage
For even in this stifling blanket I can feel the spray and the mist Of the freshness and beauty and wonder omipresent in nature and in this life God's gift.
Oh dream do I of that elusive day When i sit down and so does she naked on the grass outside with nothing else to feel to see
And make merry in the flowing breeze And harvest happinesss in the fertile fields And milk the many cows of our shed While the children play in the trees
But alas thus seems not my fate Doomed am i in these closed walls Far of yet(or maybe never) is my escape And till then i must rot For the payment of my sins
'Tis as if life's sending me a message. She's beautiful but sad. Moreover she is elusive-almost as if mocking me for losing something so precious...'
Ab this is a slight departure from generally senti wenti poems... But i felt that the blog needed something like this too. And more importantly I needed something like this too!
Yesterday i was sitting idle after like 2 weeks. What with hockey practices, lawn tennis practices, parliamentary s, arbit dancing and not to mention 8-5 college I had absolutely no time to sit down and chill... Yesterday jab sab kuch khatam ho gaya toh i just sat down in my room with music on at full volume... Just sat doing nothing. And tabhi i was struck with the intuition to write. And the result is in front of you.
Acccording to my friend Sabu it sounds like a typical "Class 5th English Reader poem"! Well thanks man... I feel delighted that i can still write for children. I have always loved childhood... and being linked with it gives me great joy!
Moreover I think this poem applies to my blog(and hence my feelings) too... Off late I have been too emotionally an dphysically stressed out. that's why my blog reflects emotional, heavy duty poems.
So its time for something which is cool, relaxing.... and a cradle of joy!!!
