A confused confession

Its a double edged blade
A battle never won
A sweetless sugary cake forbidden
Adam’s apple in Eden.

An unexplicable fascination
Of desires unfathomed
Of passions immeasurable
And joyfuls of pain

A paid duty
A religious offering
A submission to temptation
And a mark of love

Three apparent dishonourable
The last,mine, a prideable virtue
Why then do I feel
A difference before and after

Why then do I grieve
the act of commitment
Why then do I wonder
Over the milk spilt

A taboo psychological?
A fear of completion?
An apprehension of commitment?
Or a terror of the inner truth?

The past is haunting
The future daunting
Yet I try among the ruins of failed efforts
To make this present worth happily remembering.