Relationship Management... The thing which is responsible for more than half he trouble in this world. It often happens that we are caught in a situation where we want two very important things yet are forced to choose between the two. This is an extremely frustrating time as it is but when this happens in the case of relationships its more than a human can take...
I had been planning to go home last week(24-26jan). But hostel hockey matches forced me to stay back and postpone it to this week. Now again i find my way blocked... this time by the stage play. Or should i call it a fortunate detour??? I do not know. All the tickets had been booked. Packing done. And then at the last moment I was offered the lead in the hostel English Play. With the play scheduled for 7th Feb there was no way the lead could miss weekend practices. And so once again, I was forced to choose... This time it was exceptionally hard as it is my mom's bday today. If all had went well i'd prolly have been boarding the train home with her gift in an hour. But I(on advice of my senior and mentor, J and also the call of my heart(not to forget the contributions of Sabu and Gyaani)) chose to stay on... I dont know whether i made the right decision. As of now i feel so incomplete. So far away from my family. So cut off. J insists(and rightly so) that i cant be tied to my family all the time(He gives the cliched example of how cut off i'll be when i'll be working in Banglore and my parents in Chandigarh... which is true but still i dont want to believe it :( . He further went on to tell how dramatics will help in my overall development. But somehow i am... in a muddle:() but its so hard to sever the relationships you've kept for 18 years. So hard to give second priority to those who have made you their top priority all their lives. so hard to be indifferent to their feelings who had always given everything of theirs to ensure your happiness. It doesnt seem fair to them. As children we leave parents just when they need us the most. Like leeches we suck everything out of them while they educate us, feed us, keep us and mould us into perfect citizens. Then once crafted into masterpieces they'd like to sit back and enjoy we go out of the house never to return as full time residents again. Suddenly our hostels gain more importance than our homes. Suddenly our extra currics become our sole aim and the emotions of the ones left behind are forgotten. Suddenly... we grow up.
I have always wanted to remain a child forever. And i thought i had succeeded... always laughing and smiling. But now i realize that you can fence yourself in the realm of childhood, but you can't fence out the invaders of adulthood...