Payment of my Sins

I wonder when i will be able to
Sit down on the parapet and just stare outside
At the wind in the leaves and the dew on the grass
That outside make merry

I wonder when i will be able to
go out and look at the moon and the stars above
And stare at the sun full right in the eye
And come out of this cage

For even in this stifling blanket
I can feel the spray and the mist
Of the freshness and beauty and wonder omipresent
in nature and in this life God's gift.

Oh dream do I of that elusive day
When i sit down and so does she
naked on the grass outside
with nothing else to feel to see

And make merry in the flowing breeze
And harvest happinesss in the fertile fields
And milk the many cows of our shed
While the children play in the trees

But alas thus seems not my fate
Doomed am i in these closed walls
Far of yet(or maybe never) is my escape
And till then i must rot
For the payment of my sins

'Tis as if life's sending me a message. She's beautiful but sad. Moreover she is elusive-almost as if mocking me for losing something so precious...'