Memories

Sometimes, I look back and think

Remember and feel, what was and has been

And then I look forward to feel

All that might yet be

A smile breaks, a cheer creeps in

Yet scars remain within

The shadows of a trust I lost will haunt me forever

On Illness

I feel ill, I am so unwell

Please go and see, someone rang the bell

There's someone to see you, something urgent she said

Ask her to wait a while, I will take time to get out of bed

My eyes are watery, my neck is sore

My body aches, ah I can't take this anymore

She's saying she can't wait, its not in her nature

Ask her to come again I would, but she doesn't believe in the future

Oh! who is this rascal, who wont let me sleep

Who is this menace who wants to see me weep

Let her go, let her run, let her show us her back

I need to get well, I can't get off track

I sent her off, she wasn't upset

She left a card, said you shouldn't fret

Oh such a nice lady, I cursed her - oh such vice

'Hi my name is opportunity, I don't knock twice'

I feel ill, I am so unwell

Why don't I go and see, someone rang the bell.

Aadat si...

Sach kehne ko na bolo, sach bolte muh jhijhakta hai
Jhooth mein  zinda rehne ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Muskurane ko na bolo, muskurahat bhi khokhli hai
Iss gam ke sehre mein dum ghutaane ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Tumse apni mohabbat chipaate chipaate
Iss dil ko dard ki barkhat ki aadat si ho gayi hai


Tumhare lavz iss dil ka sooraj hain, tumhara chehra iska chand
Ab bin Roshni rehne ki aadat si ho gayi ai
Tumhari hasi iski bhookh aur tumhari khushi iski pyaas
Ab tumhari tamannayon ke chaayon mein jeeney ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Tumse apni mohabbat chipaate chipaate
Iss dil ko dard ki barkhat ki aadat si ho gayi hai


Kehne ko hain nadiyaan aur bataane ko hain Aakash 
Par chup rehne ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Dil mein hai tumhaare armaan kayi, aur kuch humaare bhi
Par kaagaz nahin boltey, ab tumhaari tasveer se dosti karne ki aadat si ho gayi
Tumse apni mohabbat chipaate chipaate
Iss dil ko dard ki barkhat ki aadat si ho gayi hai


Chalo koi baat nahin, naya savera, naya din
Ab roz ummeed baandhne ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Khuda ki rehmat hai aaj tak tumhare pyaar mein
Dil ke tootey tukarhon se ek suneheri tasveer bananey ki aadat si ho gayi hai
Tumse anjaane mein mohabbat nibhaate nibhaate   
Iss dil ko dard ki barkhat ki aadat si ho gayi hai

I like being white and clean
Pass like light through the window
Why do you put a black filter on the door?
There are those who value the clean window more than the view outside
With them the light lights up
But then they go visit the others
Trust is thrown and stamped on on the floor

A confused confession

Its a double edged blade
A battle never won
A sweetless sugary cake forbidden
Adam’s apple in Eden.

An unexplicable fascination
Of desires unfathomed
Of passions immeasurable
And joyfuls of pain

A paid duty
A religious offering
A submission to temptation
And a mark of love

Three apparent dishonourable
The last,mine, a prideable virtue
Why then do I feel
A difference before and after

Why then do I grieve
the act of commitment
Why then do I wonder
Over the milk spilt

A taboo psychological?
A fear of completion?
An apprehension of commitment?
Or a terror of the inner truth?

The past is haunting
The future daunting
Yet I try among the ruins of failed efforts
To make this present worth happily remembering.

पैर पर कुल्हाढ़ही

जब तुम्हें कहा था राही तब तो तुमने एक लव्स न सुना
तो फिर आज क्यों खरहे खरहे आंसू बहा रहे हो
चेतावनी सुनकर अनसुनी कर दी
तो फिर आज क्यों विदाम्बनायों के पुल बाँध रहे हो?

काँटा कहा था तुम्हीं ने इसे
फिर क्यों स्वयं ही ग्रहण किया?
जान लिए थे इसकी नियत
तोह फिर क्यों उसे शरण दिया

कर चुके हो जब स्वयं तुम ऐसा
हाँ कभी किसी और के साथ
तो फिर किसी और के करने पर क्यों गम है राही
ज़रा सोचो क्या बीती होगी उस पर उस क्षण

शायद यही तुम्हारी सजा है "प्यारे"
शायद यही तुम्हारा प्रायश्चित भी
होगा वही जो तुमने किया कभी
कुछ याद आई वोह कर्वी वाणी?

हाँ पर उम्मीद तोह बनाये रखूँगा
स्वयं की रह पर ही चलूँगा
आखिर मैंने ही तो फिर यह भी कहा था
आज को जी लो, कल को किसने देखा है

A self introspection done with the help of some my close friends. Straight from the heart again. Signing off with hope which is largely my own creation . I just hope it works out!

Depression!

khamoshi ke in lamhon ka kya karunga mein?
tanhayee ke is alam se kaise sahunga mein?
kaise mitayoonga apne kaanon men parhne waali is sannate ki aahat ko
batao priyatam tum bin kaise rahunga mein

man se sochte samjhte hain yeh jaanta hun mein
par kya gila is dil ki jo yeh hamesha rota hai
hasne ki chah ho toh bhi isey hamesha
has ke firse rona hi parhta hai

kyon yeh duniya nahin samajhti ki pyaar kya cheez hai
kyon yeh khuda nahin samjhta ki aashiquon ki doorie kya cheez hai
kyon yeh jahaan nahin chahta ki milan ki gharhi kabhi naa aaye
kyon, akhir kyon swayam bhagya nahin chahta ki ham pass naa ayein

aur agar bhagya maan bhi gya toh fir is man ka kya karunga main
yeh toh bechara asliyat ki waqfiyata ka shikaar hai
kuch sapna dekh nahin pata koi bhav samjh nahin pata
dil kuch kehta hai toh jawaab de deta hai, nahin yeh impractical cheez hai


Sometimes i wonder if too much of sense and thinking is a bane given to us as punishments of crimes unknown.