I like being white and clean
Pass like light through the window
Why do you put a black filter on the door?
There are those who value the clean window more than the view outside
With them the light lights up
But then they go visit the others
Trust is thrown and stamped on on the floor

A confused confession

Its a double edged blade
A battle never won
A sweetless sugary cake forbidden
Adam’s apple in Eden.

An unexplicable fascination
Of desires unfathomed
Of passions immeasurable
And joyfuls of pain

A paid duty
A religious offering
A submission to temptation
And a mark of love

Three apparent dishonourable
The last,mine, a prideable virtue
Why then do I feel
A difference before and after

Why then do I grieve
the act of commitment
Why then do I wonder
Over the milk spilt

A taboo psychological?
A fear of completion?
An apprehension of commitment?
Or a terror of the inner truth?

The past is haunting
The future daunting
Yet I try among the ruins of failed efforts
To make this present worth happily remembering.

पैर पर कुल्हाढ़ही

जब तुम्हें कहा था राही तब तो तुमने एक लव्स न सुना
तो फिर आज क्यों खरहे खरहे आंसू बहा रहे हो
चेतावनी सुनकर अनसुनी कर दी
तो फिर आज क्यों विदाम्बनायों के पुल बाँध रहे हो?

काँटा कहा था तुम्हीं ने इसे
फिर क्यों स्वयं ही ग्रहण किया?
जान लिए थे इसकी नियत
तोह फिर क्यों उसे शरण दिया

कर चुके हो जब स्वयं तुम ऐसा
हाँ कभी किसी और के साथ
तो फिर किसी और के करने पर क्यों गम है राही
ज़रा सोचो क्या बीती होगी उस पर उस क्षण

शायद यही तुम्हारी सजा है "प्यारे"
शायद यही तुम्हारा प्रायश्चित भी
होगा वही जो तुमने किया कभी
कुछ याद आई वोह कर्वी वाणी?

हाँ पर उम्मीद तोह बनाये रखूँगा
स्वयं की रह पर ही चलूँगा
आखिर मैंने ही तो फिर यह भी कहा था
आज को जी लो, कल को किसने देखा है

A self introspection done with the help of some my close friends. Straight from the heart again. Signing off with hope which is largely my own creation . I just hope it works out!

Depression!

khamoshi ke in lamhon ka kya karunga mein?
tanhayee ke is alam se kaise sahunga mein?
kaise mitayoonga apne kaanon men parhne waali is sannate ki aahat ko
batao priyatam tum bin kaise rahunga mein

man se sochte samjhte hain yeh jaanta hun mein
par kya gila is dil ki jo yeh hamesha rota hai
hasne ki chah ho toh bhi isey hamesha
has ke firse rona hi parhta hai

kyon yeh duniya nahin samajhti ki pyaar kya cheez hai
kyon yeh khuda nahin samjhta ki aashiquon ki doorie kya cheez hai
kyon yeh jahaan nahin chahta ki milan ki gharhi kabhi naa aaye
kyon, akhir kyon swayam bhagya nahin chahta ki ham pass naa ayein

aur agar bhagya maan bhi gya toh fir is man ka kya karunga main
yeh toh bechara asliyat ki waqfiyata ka shikaar hai
kuch sapna dekh nahin pata koi bhav samjh nahin pata
dil kuch kehta hai toh jawaab de deta hai, nahin yeh impractical cheez hai


Sometimes i wonder if too much of sense and thinking is a bane given to us as punishments of crimes unknown.

Useless, Pointless and Totally Arbit

Well since I am absolutely vella, I thought of writing something for my bloggae(no that’s not what I call it but just an arbit thing which came into my mind(see I am so vella?(in fact vella enough to goon putting bracket after bracket(Stop it!))))(Ok so check if they are all closed!). And what better thing to write about than my vellaness-The inspiration behind this post!

So these days even though college is of I am still residing in my dear WD-17 at Shivalik reason being I am doing an intern here in Noida with a Multinational VLSI Design Company(See me boasting!:) )(P.S. Does anyone know how to put a smiley in brackets? Somehow I am never able to do that comfortably) Virage Logic International. (Ya now go back there and read where I left off and started the bracket!)Okkk Intern ... you must be thinking that how can I be free when I am interning. Aaah! That friends is the thing. I had heard it from every one of my seniors.."Koi intern pe kucch nai (mazdoor style!)seekhta". But I didn’t believe it till today I am sitting in my office and writing this post!!!I mean I literally do NOTHING here. Take a look at my average day schedule"

9AM: Reach Office. Switch on PC. Open Gmail, FB... check for new mail or notifications.
9:15: Go to Cafeteria(Yes the company has its own and what's more, catering is by Yellow Chilies that guy Sanjeev Gupta's company) for breakfast
9:45: Open a couple of design files. Play around a bit. Get bored. Doze off.
10:30: Wake up. Have a drink of water. Faced with nothing better to do, so open up BlogSpot. Start reading random posts by random people.
12:00: Realize with a shock what you are here for as Boss walks in. Says it’s nice you blog also. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell him that as far as his office is concerned, I JUST blog!
12: 15: After a discussion with boss get back to blogs.
1:00: Say hi to my gf who logs in around this time.
1: 15: Head off for lunch
1;45: Chat with gf
4:00: Gf logs off and reprimands me for not working. Threatens with dire consequences if I don’t do something constructive. Gives moral lecture. I enjoy every bit of her!( I love you qti!)
4:15: Try to work. Give up
4:45: Log onto to Google news and read the day's happenings
5:20: Pack up my bag and leave

See how vella I am??? Gosh. The only thing I can think of right now is going back to hostel and playing counterstrike with the guys! Hmm... ya I think its best to end this here. I don’t want to be killing with boredom those few holy souls who read my blog! Take care guys. Maybe next time I’ll come up with a better post!!!

(P.S. ya the real reason for logging off is that its time for lunch!!!)

An Ode to Nesci

All dressed n red and black you stood
Beckoning many a hungry IITian
Maggi and muffin and croissants were all you offered
Yet you took our hearts away

It was you we came to for our nightly sojourns
Twas you who helped us survive the long nightouts
You it was who we came to cry to over our grades
And you we came for treats for birthdays

You habroured many a lonely couple
And many a drunk group of hooligans
NOt to mention the frequent sutteris
All of whom made you their ultimate destination

And you it was who stood neutral
Through all the headcounts and alliances of Poltu
And you it was that who we came to
for that elusive bill for rebate

But now you are gone, gone and dead
Tis but ruin that stands
No more are the voices heard from the windows
No more the all night stands

And it seems with you my life has gone
Seems IIT's not worth it anymore
almost as if we've lost the degree
that we were to take and go

What use a bday without the ice tea?
What use the RCA event without the customary treat?
What use the minors without ur coffee
What use Oh what use this IIT?

NESCI: YOU WILL STAY WITH US IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER

Lakshya!

Jaag uthe armaan aaj hain, fir kuch karne ki chah mein
Chhoot gaye peeche parhav hain, paa liye jo kal the
Parv aaj seedha kharha hai, lakshya dikhaye chunauti de
Na rukna hai, na thamna hai jayenge ab karm bhumi mein

Rah yeh saral na hogi, jaan yeh ham satark hain
Manzil kathintam kathin hogi, jaan yeh ham adag hain
Paa liya tha paharh toh fir parv yeh kya cheez hai
Jeet liya duniya ko toh fir bandhu

Larhki yeh kya cheez hai!

Soch yeh main chal parha, rah ki us pagdandi par
Soch yeh main ghus gaya, ishq ki us ran bhoomi mein
soch yeh main chaturai se, laga baandhne dhaage anek
Pra socho kya mera haal hua, jab thukraye usney mere prastav anek!

Yojnayein bani aur bigarh gayi
Bahaane banyaye aur toot gaye
Kahawatein kahin jo muk rahin
Aur baazi samajho haari si gayi

Par fir achanak chamtkar hua
"Random" sa ek hahahkaar hua
Aur hazaaron lakhonh yugon ke uprant
Mera pehla dao safal hua

Bas fir kya tha, main tut parha
Har ek sambhav prayas kiya
Jo kuch tha sab luta diya
Aur ant mein usey paa hi liya

Aur aaj paakar harshit hoon,
Khushi ki maar ko seheta hoon,
Par sabak main seekh chuka hoon
Saara vishv ek taraf aur yeh nazuk si ladki alag!